updates:
I can say I'm getting better bit by bit. I can now sleep for 6 straight hours or 8hours to 10 hours! It depends... I am still trying to train my mind to give up worrying too much. I graduated last August 23, 2009 from a 2 and 1/2 day seminar workshop for my personal growth... it WAS A VERY LIBERATING EXPERIENCE... my boss was right... former boss... He also underwent to this program. I'll write something about this separately.
diversionary tactics:
Because i need to train my mind to think cognitively and to pour positive thoughts to the meat between my ears, I have to do things that i wanted to do... Like, playing online games... oh yes, i am not really into this thing: maybe because i was deprived from being techi when i was a child. my mom would always tell us that she doesnt want us to play video games because we would be addicted to it and it wouldnt help us to gain knowledge... I think she was wrong, games somehow has a positive effect in some ways. Like you would learn to think fast, learn some strategies, doing some calculations, be challenged and etc...
What i have noticed that most of my ex officemates, who works as programmer are so into video and online games. Maybe there's an explanation to how they think, how they solve those codes. Maybe because of the video / online games.
Socialization:
I'M BACK... somehow i'm taking one step at a time. i would talk randomly... comments on other's pages and etc. But i still have to overcome the "avoiding thing"...
I received several missed calls from my former client and texted me like this:
"This is ________... please answer your phone"... i was asleep that time and didnt noticed thecall. i was intimidated the way he texted me and called me several times... i didnt reply and even answered his calls even the next day...
It's time for me to say no in a silent way. I am not even well compensated from the service i rendered for him... maybe it was also my fault that he doesnt pays me well and because i cant say my real rate... I am still LEARNING TO SAY IT... MY RATE ON RENDERING MY ARTS... ~_~ this is how i was told by my psychologist... i have to say no... and also say this line in a good manner:
"TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT"...
because i am a people pleaser i didnt had the guts to say no. but now... hmmm... i am trying to nail that on my head.
for the sake of art:
I am still building my art room. I already painted my pink bookshelves with varnish and organized the books... what i need to do now is to organize my craft materials... I love scrap art, i'd rather personalize my gifts than giving people with a commercialized one.
I am also restoring and organizing our photographs. I even printed out 3 blow up picture of my siblings including mine. It's also a process for me to go back from the time i was born up to present.
i have so much to say... but i need to sleep now.... tadah!
I can say I'm getting better bit by bit. I can now sleep for 6 straight hours or 8hours to 10 hours! It depends... I am still trying to train my mind to give up worrying too much. I graduated last August 23, 2009 from a 2 and 1/2 day seminar workshop for my personal growth... it WAS A VERY LIBERATING EXPERIENCE... my boss was right... former boss... He also underwent to this program. I'll write something about this separately.
diversionary tactics:
Because i need to train my mind to think cognitively and to pour positive thoughts to the meat between my ears, I have to do things that i wanted to do... Like, playing online games... oh yes, i am not really into this thing: maybe because i was deprived from being techi when i was a child. my mom would always tell us that she doesnt want us to play video games because we would be addicted to it and it wouldnt help us to gain knowledge... I think she was wrong, games somehow has a positive effect in some ways. Like you would learn to think fast, learn some strategies, doing some calculations, be challenged and etc...
What i have noticed that most of my ex officemates, who works as programmer are so into video and online games. Maybe there's an explanation to how they think, how they solve those codes. Maybe because of the video / online games.
Socialization:
I'M BACK... somehow i'm taking one step at a time. i would talk randomly... comments on other's pages and etc. But i still have to overcome the "avoiding thing"...
I received several missed calls from my former client and texted me like this:
"This is ________... please answer your phone"... i was asleep that time and didnt noticed thecall. i was intimidated the way he texted me and called me several times... i didnt reply and even answered his calls even the next day...
It's time for me to say no in a silent way. I am not even well compensated from the service i rendered for him... maybe it was also my fault that he doesnt pays me well and because i cant say my real rate... I am still LEARNING TO SAY IT... MY RATE ON RENDERING MY ARTS... ~_~ this is how i was told by my psychologist... i have to say no... and also say this line in a good manner:
"TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT"...
because i am a people pleaser i didnt had the guts to say no. but now... hmmm... i am trying to nail that on my head.
for the sake of art:
I am still building my art room. I already painted my pink bookshelves with varnish and organized the books... what i need to do now is to organize my craft materials... I love scrap art, i'd rather personalize my gifts than giving people with a commercialized one.
I am also restoring and organizing our photographs. I even printed out 3 blow up picture of my siblings including mine. It's also a process for me to go back from the time i was born up to present.
i have so much to say... but i need to sleep now.... tadah!
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